Who You Are
by aliarose
Summary: Michael and Maria, on each other, and the rest of the Pod Squad
1. Pieces of a Whole

Title: Pieces of a Whole  
  
Author: alianora  
  
Email: alia@silverspiral.net  
  
Spoilers: S1  
  
Summery: Michael sees Maria.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I wonder what the others see, when they look at her? Do they see all of her? Or just pieces?  
  
Sometimes, I wonder which is the real her.  
  
Liz sees a life long friend, full of wacky ideas. She sees a girl who talks too much and too fast and with her hands flying around her face. For Liz, she is Stability.  
  
I think Alex sees the girl who needs protecting. From the world, from me, maybe, I don't know. She and Liz are "his girls," and he wants to keep them that way. For Alex, she is Loyalty.  
  
I don't really know what Max sees. He probably sees a connection to Liz, a way to monitor her life while not getting involved in it. To Max, I think she is Communication.  
  
Isabel and Tess are harder to figure out. They see someone who does not belong, who intruded on their little world. For them, she is Outside.  
  
Kyle is probably the one who sees her the most like I do. He's known her as long as Liz has, but I can see it in his eyes sometimes. He knows who she is. Or he thinks he does. For Kyle, she is Truth.  
  
I see her that way too, sometimes.  
  
I 've moved three times. And when I've gone to bed before unpacking, I know that I will wake up to find that there is cereal in the pantry and milk in the fridge. That's just the way she is. Stability.  
  
I don't feel like running anymore. Sometimes when I look up at the sky at night, I forget what I'm searching for, because all I can think of is the glow in the dark stars she stuck on the ceiling. And I have to turn away and try to find my bearings again. Loyalty.  
  
I don't like words. Max has never understood that. But language does not slip away from Max, he always knows just what to say. I don't. And she doesn't mind. She waits for me to find the words. And when I can't, she will just give me this smile, and I know she understands anyway.. She is my voice. Communication.  
  
She will never fully understand who I am. I'm ok with that, mostly. But there are still times when I want to scream at her that I am not who she thinks I am. The problem is, I think I am. And sometimes I hate it. Outside.  
  
She won't let me delude myself. Or her, for that matter. She always knows how to knock me right on my ass when I'm being stupid. She's not afraid to call me on anything she thinks I'm wrong on. Truth.  
  
So what do the others see? They see parts of a whole, but never the big picture.  
  
I don't think they can fully know her. Liz knows her secrets, but its me that knows her deepest fears. Alex has held her while she cried, but its me she clings to when she wakes up from a nightmare. Max talks to her, but I don't think he actually hears her until she mentions Liz's name. Tess and Isabel avoid her, but they don't know that she worries about them being alone. Kyle expects her to always be able to shrug everything off, but I've seen the Teflon mask slip, leaving her angry and frustrated and crying over something stupid that I did.  
  
I see her as she is. I see Maria.  
  
What do you see? 


	2. Facets

Title: Facets  
  
Author: alianora  
  
Email: alia@silverspiral.net  
  
Spoilers: S1  
  
Summery: Maria's view of the Pod Squad. And Michael.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I have a strange circle of friends. And whether they admit it or not, they all are my friends. We all know something that ties us all together.  
  
I love Alex. He's defiantly one of my favorite people. He always tries so hard to take care of me and Liz. And Isabel, when she lets him. I know he hides his own hurts to protect us. I don't like it, but he won't talk to me about it. Maybe he talks to Liz. I hope so.  
  
Alex is Safety.  
  
Perfect Liz Parker, my best friend since forever. Its a pretty strange friendship, I'll admit that. She's so calm and logical, and I'm so...not. She forces me to look at things I'd rather avoid, and I help her come out of shell sometimes.  
  
Liz is Rationality.  
  
Max Evans, well, I don't really know what he is. He is my friend, but it seems like he hangs out with me because I hang out with Liz. Poor boy, she is still avoiding him. and he hates it.  
  
Max is Yearning.  
  
Isabel and Tess aren't too particularly fond of me. I know why, its because I wasn't supposed to be a part of this. It was supposed to four, not eight. They push me away when I try to talk to them. But I see it in their eyes that they want to be friends, but they don't know how.  
  
Isabel and Tess are Fear and Loneliness.  
  
I've known Kyle forever, and he knows almost as much about me as Liz does. But I don't have to be Liz's Maria around him. He thinks I'm tough, and I am.  
  
Kyle is Strength.  
  
Michael...well, he's Michael. I don't think even Isabel understands completely, but she probably comes the closest. Maybe its because she loved him in her last lifetime. I know more about him then they do, and it seems like they prefer being blind to finding out the truth.  
  
Here's what I know about Michael.  
  
Even though he seems reckless and completely without impulse control, he does it to keep the others from getting hurt. If he jumps into a situation before Max can get wind of it, the others won't have to get involved. Like that time he went to meet Topolsky. He didn't want me to find out about it, and he really didn't want me to go with him. He yelled at me that night on our way back. He said I could've been killed, and that I should've run when he told me to. He wanted to keep me Safe.  
  
He's an odd mix of dreamer and realist, did you know that? He believes so hard in some things that might never happen, like him getting to go "home." But he'll turn around and laugh at me when I tell him I believe there are fairies. Why not? Aliens exist, don't they? I don't want him to give up his dreams, but I would like to know that he is aware they might not come true. Rationality is a hard line to walk.  
  
There are the nights when he crawls through my window and pulls me close to him. I just hold on as hard as I can to try and stop the shaking. He has nightmares about Hank, or about nobody wanting him, or about me leaving him. There is so little I can do. I share his Yearning for family, for a place to belong.  
  
He tends to lash out at people. Almost everybody he meets think he has a serious attitude problem. I think he is scared. If he gets too attached, he can't leave. He always looks at me with this weird expression on his face. He sees me sometimes as something to Fear. An attachment. But I see the Loneliness he fights too, and so I stay. And so does he.  
  
Tess thinks he is the strongest of all of them, because he fights against the ties he has with the human portion of the Pod Squad. He doesn't think we should be here either. He accepts his alien side. But he doesn't know how to handle the human part of him, like his heart. That makes him weak. When it comes to being human, I am his Strength. 


End file.
